shooting on the upper east side

[You know you're an actor when you see a headline like "shooting on the upper east side" and instead of worrying about victims, you wonder, "ooh, which film?"]

Saturday morning at 6:15 my alarm clock went off, and, to my own delight, the first words out of my mouth were, "OH-FOR-FUCK'S-SAKE-YOU-HAVE-GOT-TO-BE-KIDDING-ME!" I stumbled into the shower, flipped the switch on the coffee maker that I had set up the night before (because I'm a genius!), and piled myself into sixteen layers of clothes. I slathered foundation on my face (gah), flung my script into my bag, and staggered out the front door.

All in the dark.

When I got to the subway, there was no Manhattan-bound service. No signs, no warnings, no placards in the station at all. Just a piece of tape across the stairs. "NO TRAINS" scrawled semi-legibly.

With more grumbling (and "fuck's saking"), I got on a Brooklyn-bound train, and just as it pulled into the express station, a Manhattan-bound train pulled out. Because holding a train for a minute at 6:55 on a Saturday morning would screw up the whole weekend, I'm sure.

I finally got to the shoot and began to wake up. Only to realize that it was REALLY cold out. And while I was wearing several hundred layers, none of them were warm enough to keep me from getting stiff.

Luckily, though, the crew was competent and efficient and we managed to stick to the schedule. And they were relentless about throwing my jacket onto my back every second the camera was not rolling. Bless them!! You never know what you're going to get on a student film, and I got some of the good ones... even though we were shooting outdoors in the mind-numbing cold.

But what surprised me more than the professionality of my crew was the complete oblivion (or is it disrespect?) with which people walk down the sidewalks of the Upper East Side. Not just the people who don't see the camera (and they abound), but those of whom we made the polite request to hang back for just a moment while we got our shot (none of which were much longer than 30 seconds) and who refused. "Would you mind walking on the other side of the street just for a minute?" we'd ask, and they'd plow right on through our set up, grumbling about why there had to be a suitcase on the sidewalk.

[sidebar: the title of the film is "The Suitcase"]

One guy (and he was a crotchety old bugger) was walking his dog, and the DOG POOPED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR SET! Now, granted, our set was the south side of 71st Street, between Park and Lex, so I imagine we were actually shooting in that dog's bathroom, but the worst part was how Mr. Grumpyguts, the owner, leaned over, cleaned up three of the five gifts left for us by the poopin' pooch, and then, when we told him he had missed some, he went after them with such gusto, that two more of the gifts fell out of the paper he was using to clean them up! Evenutally, I found some nice big leaves and covered up what he left behind. And then gleefully watched as other people (not cast or crew) walked blindly into the little booby traps.

Did I mention it was cold?

Not half as cold, though, as I imagine it's likely to be next weekend, when we're shooting on the East River at 7:30 in the morning...