the rule of threes

Things always happen in threes. That's how it works in comedy and tragedy, spit takes and family deaths, knock knock jokes and dangerous surgeries, you name it, it comes in threes. And for a girl about to hit thirty, of course, this is also true for weddings (which fall into both categories).

In the last ten days, I've had three friends announce their engagements. And while I'm thrilled for all of them, part of me is envious and wishes I were like them; so in love that I couldn't imagine the rest of my life without that certain someone else. But after the string of long (and unsuccessful) relationships I've recently ended, part of me just revels in my singlehood. I'm dancing by myself, of course, but I'm still dancing.

Anyway, the first friend to announce it to me was my friend Derek at work, who doesn't really like me talking about his life in public, so I've changed his name. I don't really work with a Derek. But let's just pretend I do, so he won't get mad at me.

So, I'm sitting at my desk and Derek calls me into his office I think his computer is malfunctioning or something, since he looks really harried and essentially barks at me to come in.

"Shut the door," he says, and I do, sure now that it's not computer trouble, and hoping he's going to complain about something, since I love a good rant. "Look at this," he says, whipping out this little velvet box. I open it up, and there's this gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring in there.

"Holy shit!" I shout. (No wonder he had me close the door.) "That's gorgeous! Are you going to ask her tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Wow!"

Derek and Kristen (also not her name) have been together seven months and are both two years younger than I am. I have my doubts, and I voice them, but Derek assures me that he just knows. That they won't get married for another year, they haven't even officially moved in with each other yet, but that's happening next weekend, I think. And these lawyer types tend to all be married before thirty anyway.

I love them together, and I can see how Kristen has made Derek's life so much better, so I feel safe that this is the right choice for them. I predict they'll hit some bumps in the road ahead of them, as they both grow into who they are, but I think they're up for it. And I'm invited to the wedding, so it's all good.

Next up are Leslie and Dan.

They have been together for about a year and a half, and they dated for about three months in high school, too (which I think is just adorable). They live together somewhere uptown (I don't have my passport stamped, so I'm not entirely sure where) and Dan moved to NYC from Chicago to be with Leslie. When I asked her when she knew this was it, she said his moving here was a pretty big sign.

She showed me her ring and it's gorgeous, too! Very small and delicate band (which feels really great when you put it on) and a lovely diamond solitaire.

I've never really gotten to know Dan (although we have met briefly) but just from the way her face lights up when she talks about him now, and a year and a half ago, I can see how much she loves him, and how this partnership is just so right.

And, most recently, I got word last night of my third engagement. I'll be honest that it came as more than a little shock, as half of the couple getting engaged is the guy I broke up with about four months ago. That's right, Ian and Stephany are engaged. After six weeks.

One night, after Ian and I had broken up, but just a few weeks after he and Stephany had met, I came home to find that my building was for sale, and that my lease was in jeopardy. I talked to the guy I was dating at the time, and, try as he might, he couldn't comfort me the way I knew Ian would. So I just called Ian, assuming he would be sitting around at home, doing nothing. Of course, he was on the other line with Stephany, and I was embarrassed, and felt bad interrupting. I told him he could call me later, but he said that when he told her that it was me on the other line in tears, Stephany told him to call her back later. Not at all threatened by me, and more than that, generous with Ian's affection. Which is more than a lot of women will do for one another.

I've never met her, but I like Stephany. And I know Ian. He loves to love and be in love. He has a very big heart and I think Stephany just fills it right up.

I won't lie and say I don't think it's too soon. Because I do. Way too soon. There are only 1008 hours in six weeks. And assuming one were to sleep for 6 hours a night (I'm being stingy, but I can, because its my blog), that leaves 756 waking hours in six weeks.

Can you know for certain after spending 756 hours with someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them?

I don't know, and am certainly the wrong person to ask. I've spent more time than that with people I thought I wanted to marry, who turned out to just not be the right guy for me.

But everyone who is married (or engaged) tells me they just knew. They knew deep down that this was the one person they wanted to be with. So if you know it at six weeks, as long as you still know it a year later, isn't that all that matters?

I wish all three couples the best of luck, and hope that there will be hosts of hot, single (straight) men at all of the weddings and that they're not all at the same time. After all, there's only so many wedding gifts a single girl can buy in one month!