more things I think should be rules

To add to the rules I posited last time:

1. If you are a "seedless tangerine," you really shouldn't have seeds in you.

2. If you are socially inept, and work with me (and I hate you) and I ask you a quick question out of sheer office formality (like, "how are you?") you shouldn't wait until I'm already around the corner from you to start harranguing me about how your workload is so heavy you'll probably have to be here both days this weekend. Frankly, I don't care. I've already walked away.

3. Nothing should ever taste like feet. Especially if it's fruit. But really, not even feet should taste like feet. But then again, if I'm making rules, nobody should be tasting feet. So my first statement holds.

4. Ok, if you're an internet dating website (I'm talking to you, nerve) and you show a list of people who have looked at my profile in the last 30 days, you SHOULD NOT START AT 30 DAYS AGO. Show me the guys who looked today, not December 26th! Duh.

5. If I bring my cute pink bag to the office, you should never come by my desk and say, "what is that, a diaper bag?" (this is especially true if you have no fashion sense whatsoever (and I hate you)).

6. If you're the Red Hot Chili Peppers and you have a new two disc album out, you should put all the noisy, guitar-riffy songs on one album, and all the not-irritating songs on the other, so I can listen to it at work.

7. If I do, in fact, have a fake laugh (and, yeah, I'm pretty sure I do) you should never know it's the fake laugh. (and if you do know it's the fake laugh, then you should never take it personally (unless I hate you))