my brain runneth over

The collected (recent) thoughts of one Katherine Surgeon:

1. Are you familiar with the phrase "Angel's Share"? I know it's a bar in NYC, but a friend explained it to me as a drinking tradition whereby you set aside a small amount for the angels to drink. (Kind of like Elijah's plate at Passover.) On further exploration, I discovered that traditionally, the Angel's share is the amount of alcohol that evaporates in the oak barrel aging process. So it's kind of like the angels get in there and drink their bit before you can even pour it out for them.

Sneaky little angels.

2. If you're going to hang a sign from your rearview mirror that says "I heart My Penis" are you really going to drive a Subaru Forrester? I think you might want to rethink that one, neighbor.

3. The new, Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not bathe in cologne and then ride the MTA, especially when thou art covered in a prime vintage eau de diarrhea. (Have you no nosehairs, man?)

4. I found out that if your clementine has seeds (as I have made rules that it shouldn't) that means the bees have been at work cross pollenating your clementine with someting else. Which is to say, your clementine is all sexed out!

(stupid lucky fruit.)

5. I was recently at a meeting in the brand new New York Times building (the one the guy climbed up the outside of) and it's a gorgeous building. Lots of stunning views, enormous windows and ample sunshine. The toilets, however, scared the shit out of me. They are those automatic flush toilets, which we have in the Chrysler building, and which I've gotten used to over time. However, the NYT toilets do something ours don't: they sound like an angry cat lives under the seat and barkingly meows at you before it flushes. Like a catty toilet troll.

Which is just creepy.

6. My friend, Robbie Gil, has some amazing new songs you can download for free on his MySpace page. I totally recommend doing so. They're really great.

7. A while ago, I was seeing a guy who was very supportive of me and all the craziness I have to go through while trying to change my life. He wanted to be there for me and take care of me, which was very generous and lovely of him. He put it this way (paraphrased, of course):

Him: Did you know that they often stable racehorses with cats?
Me: No. Why?
Him: Because the cats keep the horses calm. They get rid of all the mice and rats and things that would otherwise spook the horse. I want to be the cat to your racehorse.

(Beautiful, no? We split up, though, because I felt like the relationship was unbalanced.)

What, I asked, did the racehorse do for the cat?