how pine needles are like sand in your bathing suit

Several frightening ways pine needles shed by a christmas tree are like sand in your bathing suit:

1. In the moment, neither are annoying. However, after stripping off your suit or chucking your tree, you're shocked to see just how much has accumulated.

2. Neither ever really leaves. You can rinse your suit for days or vacuum your apartment seventeen times, and yet a trace of both still linger.

3. Both are very useful and necessary -- but NOT in their current location. Pine needles are great firestarters, and sand is great for sandcastle building, but I want no fires in my apartment or castles in my vagina.

4. Both have an individual smell. (That's all I'm going to say about that.)

5. And no matter how I get rid of my tree, whether throwing it out the window, carrying it down the stairs in pieces or wrapping it up in a sheet and lugging it down to the street, I always end up with three or four errant pine needles... in my fannypants.

These are always less fun than sand.