Wondering about the subject of this post? That's what everything I'm writing here would sound like if Sebastian, the cat I'm kitty-sitting, were to tell you about it.
To say he's a chatty kitty is to say that vanilla softserve with sprinkles is the best thing since vanilla softserve plain. (duh.) He's a champ conversationalist. An outstanding orator. A prodigious prolocutor, if you will. (And I won't blame you if you won't.)
Here's what it's like to come home:
"Mrrrrrrrrrrrrow? Mrrrrrrrrrrrrow! MURRRRRRRRROW! mruw! murp! Mrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooooooow!"
"Really?"
"Mrrrow."
"Seriously?"
"Mrrow."
"Hmmm, I hadn't thought about it that way."
"Mrrow!"
"Yes?"
"Mrrow!?!"
"No!"
"Mrrow!"
"Mrrow!"
"Mrrow!"
The end.
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I got this over email and found it funny and charming.
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Now men.... men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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If this blog could have a corporate sponsor, I'd like it to be the Shick Intuition Razor. Holy crap, I'm in love with mine!
Now, I am one of the She-who-has-difficulty-getting-a-close-shave-in-her-pitty-pits clan (we have our own tartan) and this razor has changed my armpits' life forever! Yeah, it's expensive (which is why I want it to be my corporate sponsor), but it's TOTALLY worth it. (I got my first one free in the mail, anyway!)
Really, go out there and boldy purchase yourself one. Even if you don't need a razor yet (because yours hasn't RUSTED sufficiently.... guilty!), this will be a worthwhile purchase. Because you know why? No need to purchase shaving cream, either!
I know, this shit's incredible!
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Date Alert!!
I have two dates coming up with new gentlemen in the next week or so. And they're both FUNNY!
Maybe not as funny as this, but I'm hoping they're better looking that that, too.
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