Turkey Day (or Non-Turkey Day for the aspiring vegetarian among us) began virtuously, and then slipped and slid into the level of hell reserved for hand-holding-four-across-pedestrians-in-times-square and people who bash baby seals over the head with baseball bats. (I only know because I saw them there in the middle of the night when I thought I was actually going to die from overeating.)
This is how it went:
Breakfast -- Fiber One english muffin with almond butter. (See? Virtue!)
Lunch -- Chex Mix, half a banana, cheese and crackers, vegetables and dip and a small child
Dinner -- Two teeeny tiny pieces of turkey (just to see if the free range, organic, non-anti-biotic, mansion-dwelling, bon-bon eating turkey was any different than the fat-assed, lazy one we usually get), eighteen pounds of stuffing (which we, in my family, affectionately call "Wet Bread"), some roasted vegetables (which were supposed to have tofu on them for the aspiring vegetarian among us, but said tofu was left behind), six tons of mashed potatoes, fourteen pounds Grandma Green Beans ("now with 100% more Grandma!") and about six pumpkin pies.
I'm never eating again.
Except, I have to go have a snack now.
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2 comments:
I too went to Thanksgiving hell. But, thankfully, and fully, I'm back. I actually love these four days off - they're velvety (not the cheese) and you can sink into them and almost disappear.
Although it sounds like you enjoyed a lot at the main feast, I think the reason you feel so full is that you made the classic mistake of filling up on children. Happens to the best of us.
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