The chiropractor and I are moving in together!* Maybe to one of those beautiful new high-rise buildings on the water in Long Island City. You know, the ones with a gym and a Healthy Foods Store at the bottom of the building, and lots and lots of babies. It’ll be perfect!
Proof that we’re in love:
1) We discuss some very important stuff. Like sandwiches. And logosophy.
2) We’re pretty romantic. We hug a lot, and he rubs my back. And as you know, we talk about farts and fat people. Today he even said to me, “Suck me, beautiful.” (I’m not actually making this one up. He really did say it.)**
I am, however, getting some mixed signals. He always wants to talk about the men I’m dating. And he’s willing to share me with the physical therapist. And he keeps mentioning his “girlfriend” (even though I know he’s really talking about his cleaning lady). Is that supposed to be funny? Maybe it just means he’s an understanding guy…
*Ok, ok, he and his girlfriend are thinking of moving out of my neighborhood and into a nice new condo of their own. But that’s hardly an important detail.
**But before you go get all riled up and weirded out by this, apparently it’s a quote from American Pie (a movie I loved myself enough to avoid) that applied somewhat obliquely to the conversation we were actually having.
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