iphone hacker

If you've turned your computer on today, you've probably seen a picture or two of the iPhone hacker, the guy who managed to free up the new Apple iPhone for use on networks other than AT&T. If you haven't, well, there, I've just told you the news. (You can read it here, though.)
(the hero of the story)

Is it just me, or does it look like the news story should read more like this:
SAN FRANCISCO - The teenage hacker who managed to unlock the iPhone so that it can be used with cellular networks other than AT&T is now suing the company over the iPhone's unfortunate and shocking ability to get out of his pocket and kill all his friends, neighbors and, well, actually, anyone he's ever met.

George Hotz, of Glen Rock, N.J., said of the newly liberated iPhone, "This thing sucks. Once I had a life, and now this little piece of crap, which I have to hold in my hand very firmly for fear that it will escape and kill someone else, has taken that from me. I've never before been so angry and sad at the same time."

Shunned before by jocks and hotties alike, Hotz is suffering a new level of loneliness, having been kicked out of even the AV Club. "We're not his friends," said one geek bent over a disemboweled iPhone, quickly shoveling pieces into the trash, "and we had nothing to do with this." He added quickly, "We're not jealous, either."

Hotz is reportedly putting the new phone on eBay, and the opening bid is one date. Said a prospective buyer, "Ooh, that's a steep price. But my ex-husband really sucks, and I was thinking of maybe giving him a call…"