make the choice to read this book

I've been quiet on a lot of fronts lately, so if you've missed me, I apologize. I've missed you, too. (I've also probably eaten your share of Easter food, and you've probably gone hungry. Really sorry about that. I think we're over it now, though, so it's safe to eat with me again... unless you're bringing Peeps!)

ANYWAY... I'm going to a really cool conference this weekend, and in preparation, I read a book by one of the instructors, Debbie Ford, who is a life-coach trainer (yet another reason I'm going to the conference) in addition to being a teacher and author.

You must read this book. All of you. Go out now and read it. (Well, finish reading this first, but then go!)

The book is called The Right Questions, and it's for anyone who can see the problems in his or her life, but feels paralyzed about how to actually go about changing things.

Debbie starts with the premise that life is about choices. Every day, we're faced with hundreds of choices, some simple (do I want coffee?) and some complex (am I willing to make my life better?). And how we act on those choices reveals not necessarily what we want, but what we are committed to, in an underlying, unconscious way. Take me for example: for years I wanted to be an actor, and thought my choices were leading me down that road, but in retrospect, the choices I made were fulfilling my underlying commitment to be financially secure, respected and valued. Are they separate things? Not necessarily. But in my case, they definitely were.

So the first step is actively choosing between being true to your goal (in this case, acting), or being true to your underlying commitment (in this case, security and respect).

This concept of underlying commitments plays out in even more insidious ways in relationships -- you may want desperately to be in a relationship, but if you have an underlying commitment to being alone, your choices will play themselves out to leave you alone at the end of the day.

(Pretty sneaky, sis.)

Once you've committed to your goals, there are a variety of questions (the Right ones, in fact) that will help you stick to that goal. I won't list them all here (because you really ought to read the book, and I don't think that listing them all would be fair to the author), but some of them are (in her words):

Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future, or will it keep me stuck in the past?
Am I looking for what's right, or am I looking for what's wrong?
Is this an act of faith, or is it an act of fear?

There are a few more, and they're all really valuable. The key to success with them is to think of them just as you're making a choice or a revelation or a change. (Like when you're about to put that 45th peep into your mouth, just think, will this peep propel me toward a skinny future, or will it keep me stuck in my ass?)

Oh, and the book is 180 pages long and will likely take you three subway rides (to my house, at least) to finish it. So what do you have to lose?

Make the choice. Read this book.