why ms. jones, you’re lovely when you hack up a lung!

I like to think that, even though I've cut my hair and can no longer yank out a pen and send my locks cascading down my back, I can still rock the good old Sexy Librarian look. You know, the slightly dowdy, long-legged woman who, when focused on her work, bites a corner of her lip, talks to herself and twists a few strands of hair around her pen, until it gets stuck there and she has to actually focus on extracting the pen and not the thing she was working on, but this proves difficult because, being a slightly dowdy woman, she doesn't carry around a compact with a mirror in it, so she is forced to try to see out of the corner of her eye, which really just makes her crosseyed and headachey...

But perhaps I digress a little.

Maybe there is someone out there who can correct me if I've got the name wrong , but I call the super-sexy-hair-releasing-maneuver the "why, ms. jones, you're so lovely" move. (I have no name for the wad-up-your-hair-on-your-pen-until-it-gets-stuck move, except maybe The Kate or The Long Afternoons In The Library Studying For Your Biology Final.) Is it from a movie? An iconic film for the sexy nerds of the world, who don't feel they can compete with the Thin, Blonde and Stupid Regime that seems to be driving our culture to make more and more films about, well, not us.

All that said, there's another move I've been perfecting of late: Le Hackage du'Lung (or, for the non-Fronch among you, Coughing So That Sometimes I Pee In My Pants A Little). This is also an alluring move, one that drives men to my sides in flocks -- nay, gaggles -- offering me bouquets of kleenex and handfuls of sudafed.

I highly recommend this mixed approach, for it keeps the gentlemen on their toes (albeit, on their toes just outside the radius of your lung-span), and really shows those Thin Sexy Blondes who's boss.

Right?