what i did on my european vacation

Summing up the last nine days in one post would be almost impossible, so I'm going to try to encapsulate a few key moments, and stretch it out over a few posts to give you the gist of my trip to Budapest, Vienna, Saltzburg and Padua. I'll do my best to keep it chronological and entertaining, but if you start to get bored, go ahead and take a nap. I won't notice.

1. The Day of Departure, or Why I Hate Time Warner Almost as Much as Lufthansa
My flight left on Thursday at 5pm, so I woke up early on Thursday morning to tie up some loose ends -- turn on my out of office notice, make sure my shows would record while I was away, the usual stuff. But wouldn't you know it? My cable was out. No phone, no cable, NO INTERNET. So I couldn't check in for my flight and get a seat (ideally a window for the overnighter), I couldn't send the three emails I needed to send, I couldn't post a farewell blog, I couldn't do anything but sit in my house, stew and think of things to throw at the TWC truck parked on my block.

Eventually, I got some online help from an angel who works with my dad (thank you Judy!) who tried to check me in. But Lufthansa, contrary to EVERY AIRLINE IN THE WORLD EVER, won't let you check in online if your flight is within the next 24 hours.

Dear Lufthansa,
You're backwards.
Love,
Kate
p.s. I hate you.

I got to Newark around 3:15 for a 5:10 flight, and the maze near the check-in counter was totally filled. I went to the end, and saw there was an extension maze off to the side, so I went to the rear of that. When I got there, I was directed down the hall about half a football field to ANOTHER MAZE, six rows deep and FULL of people.

"My flight's at 5:10. Am I going to make it?"

"They say it shouldn't be a problem, but I don't know if I belive them. Ours is at 5:15. If we don't make it, though, that's fine, our connection in Frankfurt's not until 24 hours later."

"My connection is an hour later. And I'm meeting my parents there. If I don't make this flight..." (panic starts to set in for real.)

An hour an a half later (4:45) I was checked in. Ticket-for-a-middle-seat in hand, I rocketed towards security, only to find it jam packed with everyone I already met in the Lufthansa line. I took off my shoes, watch, sunglasses, and the metal plate in my head, and waited. The line was going nowhere fast. Finally, I just kind of plowed my way to the front, telling everyone my plane was about to leave, which, in theory, it was. But when I got to the front of the line, this old cranky couple was there and wouldn't let me go in front of them.

"My flight's about to leave, do you mind if I go ahead of you?"

"Yes. You should have gotten here earlier." (I'm not kidding, these old coots actually said this.)

"I got here two hours ahead."

"Well, you should have gotten here earlier."

They then proceeded to move AS SLOWLY AS POSSIBLE through security, directly in front of me.

Dear Old Coots at Security,
You suck, and should have let me go ahead. Then I would have lauded you as heroes. As it is, I am forced to tell the world you suck.
Love,
Kate
p.s. I hate you, too.

With a little smile from above (my flight was delayed about 15 minutes due to a late aircraft arrival), I made it. I found my way to my crap-ass middle seat and plunked down. Little did I know it, but I was right behind Baby Row.

Lufthansa has a very nice service for people traveling with lap infants. They hook up these bassinets to the front row of any section so the babies have somewhere to fall asleep. However, this concentrates the wailing, screeching and pooping into two rows: theirs and mine.

Two glasses of wine and three podcasts later, I finally fell asleep. The guy next to me was listening to Ace of Base (he was German) and the woman on my other side, even though she was nice, was Twitchy McGee. The babies, while cute, seemed to enjoy the flight about as much as I did. I think I slept about three hours.

I switched planes in Frankfurt (just barely making the connection) and slept all the way to Budapest. Completely deaf in my right ear, I landed, met up with my folks and sleptwalked my way into a cab.

Welcome to Vacation!