rapers! pillagers! bastards!

I sat down yesterday morning to pay my credit card bill, and discovered that somehow I didn't pay last month's bill! The only explanation I can come up with (because I'm retardedly anal when it comes to money -- and I can use that term with confidence now, having covered Freud at Kate State) is that I never got it. So I searched my house high and low (also looking for a pair of earrings and the one real piece of jewelry that I own, a diamond necklace that had also gone missing) and came up empty handed.

I called the credit card company, who had charged me a $39 late fee, and blamed them roundly for my not getting my bill (and thus not paying it). The guy was nice and "just this once, because you are a loyal customer" waived my late fee, and promised to send me the latest bill.

Ah, thank god for customer service!

So I went online to make my payment, and was wondering how much this month cost (as opposed to how much last month cost) and only when I searched the fine-print-math-writing-that-nobody-but-true-credit-dorks read did I find last month's balance... and the finance charge of $35.15!

Rude.

I called again, but this time the woman I spoke with was less of a pushover. Even when I said "you know, that's not really fair" she didn't budge. (I envisioned her sitting on the other end of the phone, filing her nails and passing notes to her neighbor, comparing the number of calls that had come in that day from people wanting a break from their finance charges. I was number fourteen today, and it was only 10:07 -- 9:07 in her time zone!)

So Citibank? Consider this your last $35.15. I, like the other imagined 13 callers, will be taking my business somewhere else. (Mostly just because my 5% reward period has ended, and now everything gets me 1%. What am I supposed to do with 1%? Buy gum? Clearly, I am supposed to apply it to late fees and finance charges!)