orphans, young men and now an emperor!

Ok, I have so much other stuff to do and far more interesting things to write about, but if I get one more myspace message from someone who wants to be my boyfriend, I'm going to throw up and die.

First, a message from the orphan (who, you will note, is "black and strong"):
Good day ma'm My name is charles,i am 36yrs,working with a bank here in the uk.i am black and strong. I am just browsing through the internet and came accross your pics,i must tell you that you are uniquely perfect.I am not looking for Miss World,ok?i simply want a honest God fearing woman that i can be there for.I hope i am not inconveniencing you with this mail,if i am,please i am trully sorry,i just had to speak out my feelings. I have been an orphan far too long for me to remember,and it has made me go through life all by myself,i really think its time i have someone special to my heart...Can you be the one?

Then there's Mr. Mike (who has now emailed me twice):
hi i saw your profile and i loved your pic...your beautiful! im 25 from brooklyn.im 5'9 blond blue eyes and attractive.(i tried uploading my pic but it didnt work for some reason, apparently the file was too big or anything.)i just got on myspace so there isnt too much on my page, but id gladly answer any questions u may have about me. id love to chat with u sometime, do u have aol or yahoo messenger? if you do use either one i can send u my pic thru there, im sure u wouldnt be disappointed.write back either way because id love to hear from u. please don't be discouraged over the age difference also, im not so i dont think you should either. p.s im not spam or anything so dont worry lol im serious and for real im idareyou06 on yahoo/msn messneger,,,and bkny2005k on aim.write me back your screen names

Oh, wait, here's another lonely, semi-orphan in ALASKA:
hello,how re u doing today?...my name is louis nelson from alaska,i am 39 yrs old i am a civil engineer by profession presently i am working on a contract in west africa as the IPT there and the things that trobles me the most is that i am lonely.i am the only child of my parents though i have other brothers and sisters but they were all adopted well why not hit me up so we can get to know more about each other.......my yahoo id is louis4coollove@yahoo.com and the msn id is louis4coollove@hotmail.com hope to hear from u ok. LOUIS

And today's message, which just threw me over the top:
good afternoon to you, how are you feeling this week, well am Emperor from nigeria, i have read your profile and i am very sure to be your friend, you are just the type of lady that i have been looking for since, please lady am not trying to fool or joke around i am very serious about what ever i put down here and am not trying to hurt you own that i like telling the person that love my feelings,so dear, this my number +234- 80 360 927 03 or send me mail via (abemperor4u@yahoo.com or xyemperor777@yahoo.com)i will be expecting either your flash so that i can call you or your mail. don't mind the code it is ghana code due to i happend to study there. sweet heart please don't like my joy weather away. am right now online.

Please, if any of you feel inspired to write to them or to not like their joy weather away (whatever on earth that means), feel free. Especially if you, too, are an orphan.