farewell sweet online dating profile...

I quit.

Yes, folks, I took down my online dating profile. For now at least. It just got to a point where I was getting really fed up with not getting any response. And while I could wax (and whine) poetical about this for days and weeks and years, why say what Cole Porter said much better than I?

The breeze is chasing the zephyr
The moon is chasing the sea
The bull is chasing the heifer
But nobody's chasing me

The cock is chasing the chicken
The peewee some wee peewee
The cat is takin' a lickin'
But nobody's taking me.

Nobody wants to own me,
And I object.
Nobody wants to phone me
(even collect!)

The leopard's chasing the leopard
The chimp some champ chimpanzee
The sheep is chasing the shepherd
But nobody's chasing me

The flood is chasing the levee
The wolf is out on a spree
The Ford is chasing the Chevy
But nobody's chasing me

The snake with passion is shakin'
The pooch is chasing the flea
The moose his love call is makin'
But nobody's chasing me

Each night I take the mirror
Off of the shelf
Each night I'm getting nearer
Chasing myself.

The clams are almost a-mixin'
The hams are chasin' TV
The fox is chasing the vixen
But nobody's chasing me..."

So, way back in the day, I sang this song in a cabaret in Michigan (150 years ago -- when I first met Christina, actually). There were three of us singing it, and each was given a line to sing, and then we'd all sing "Nobody's chasing me" together. (Painfully cute.) So one night we got to the verse where it says "the moose his love call is makin'" and I completely blanked. Nothing came into my head. Not this verse, not the next verse, nothing.

Out of my sheer panic, I plucked absolute brilliance. I (somehow) came up with "I am chasing the Bacon," (yes, Kevin Bacon) which (extremely luckily) fit right into the rhyme scheme. (and might actually explain why nobody's chasing me!)