nicknames

My friends and I have been dating a lot lately. A lot. (Some of us more than others... ahem, Thea.) But the problem is, when you're meeting a ton of guys, it's hard to keep them straight.
The solution, of course, is nicknames. Just a little something so you can distinguish one guy from the next. I think most people do this. But not everyone comes up with such good ones.

For your entertainment, a selection of the nicknames we've adopted lately (some real names have been switched to "Frank" just to keep the innocent actually innocent).

Have you dated...?
-- Frank From High School (as opposed to Frank From Work)
-- Ben the Biologist (whose real name stayed in only because it's super-alliterative)
-- Fratboy (which is funny mostly because Fratboy was a Yalie and his frat at Yale was, well, mostly hicks and dorks.)
-- British Australian Doctor Guy
-- British Australian Doctor Non-Doctor (who was not Australian, either)
-- Boobie McGrabber (for inappropriate behavior on a first date)
-- Government Guy (who also doubled as Non-Profit Guy until I understood better what he did for a living)
-- Chip (which is funny mostly because that's a real name, but not his real name)
-- Nerve Guy (from way back in the day when there was only one)
-- Greasy (also, McGreasy) (who turned out not to be greasy at all)
-- Lawyer Guy (original, I know)
-- Frank From Five Years Ago
-- Librarian Guy
-- I Found My Keys (also known briefly (and mistakenly) as The Shoplifter)
-- Actor Boy (story of my life)
-- The Playwright (the other story of my life)
-- The 40 Year Old Actor (story of somebody else's life)
-- The 40 Year Old Playwright (at least one of us is consistent...)
-- Instant Boyfriend (how many stories of her life can one girl have?)
-- The Psychotic Emailer (This guy sent something like 16 emails in one day. We went from first date to break up before we ever met!)
-- HockeyLawGuy (it was his handle on match. No he's not there anymore, he was actually the only keeper of the bunch!)
-- Rocket Scientist (yes, he really was)
-- Baby's Arm (yikes!)
-- Steely Dan Fan (may I never go through that phase again...)
-- Bad Sex Guy (poor guy. Nobody wants that nickname.)
-- Calculus Flashcard Man (imagine how fun that date was.)

And my all time favorite: Handsy McGee. Handsy got his nickname because he was, well, a little handsy on the first date (as opposed to Boobie McGrabber who just plunged right in there for all he was worth). But we liked him, and he stuck around. Unfortunately, he turned out to be absolutely fucking nuts. So now we call him CrazyTown. He's got a song and everything.