Dear Kate,
Just wanted to drop you a note about the matzo ball you found in the toilet in the ladies' room this morning. I know it was kind of weird, but it was my little gift to you. My way to say, "hey, it's ok that you slept all day Sunday and that you watched so much Sports Night you're convinced Dan Rydell and Casey McCall are actually your friends."
It's a thank you, also, for not flushing that mouse corpse down your own toilet the other night. (An idea which I'm not surprised didn't occur to you, due to the No Flush Hex on your toilet. Sorry about that, by the way, the Higher Toilet Powers say it keeps you on your toes. I say whatever.)
If you think of the alternatives I could have left you, I'm sure you'll find my gift generous and entertaining.
And the fact that it won't flush away? Kind of a bonus, I guess.
Sure, it looks kind of like a chicken meatball, or a crab cake. Maybe even a bolus of stuffing. But trust me, it's a matzo ball. A Duchamp-ian representation of Passover.
Stay well, and I'll see what I can do about your own dysfunctional toilet,
The Toilet Fairy
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