the between boyfriends book by cindy chupak

In the ever-lingering search for material for my audiobook demo (which I hope to start actually working on in the not-too-distant future, if the gods are sympathetic), I stumbled across a pepto-bismol pink book that had me chuckling all the way to work this morning. It's called "The Between Boyfriends Book: A Collection of Cautiously Hopeful Essays" by Cindy Chupak.
A few excerpts, which I will keep brief, as I do work for copyright lawyers and have no idea what the rules are here.

[Dear Cindy, I love your book, I want people to read it, please don't yell at me when I post your hilarity. I am only trying to boost your sales!! Love, Kate]

"So what's the right way for a man to break up? I suggest the following steps:

Step One: Chose a reason. Inevitably your girlfriend will ask why you're leaving, and you should be prepared to explain. If you know that your reason is petty and immature (I know a woman who broke up with a man because his nose looked like a penis), make up a nicer reason.

Step Two: Select a date that doesn't conflict with birthdays or major holidays. 'I didn't plan to break up with her on Valentine's Day,' a male friend once explained. 'It just happened to coincide.'

Step Three: Talk to her. You're both adults. It might go over surprisingly smoothly.

Step Four: Hide your baseball cards."
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"You can spot a woman whose relationship is disintegrating because her answering machine gives hourly updates of her whereabouts. 'I'm at work now, but I'll be home by seven.' 'I'm at aerobics.' 'I'm in the shower.' Meanwhile, his machine has the same message as always: 'I'm not home. Later.'"
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"Sexual Sorbet: The first person you sleep with after a breakup; a palate cleanser to remove the taste of a failed relationship... I say sleep with someone else. Sexual sorbet cleanses the palate and prepares you for your next course. After all, you don't want your ex to be the last guy you slept with. You need to put some distance between the two of you, and five to seven inches ought to do it."
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"Some men admit they avoid confrontation because they're afraid we'll cry. Of course we'll cry: we cry at Hallmark commercials. What they don't understand is that we're not crying because of them, we're crying because now we have to get naked in front of someone else. It's enough already."

Men, you can probably skip this one, but women, pick it up. Especially if you happen to be between boyfriends.



p.s. if anyone has suggestions for comical non-fiction for my demo, please feel free to let me know!