a hodgepodge of gobbeldygook

Heard recently in my office:

1. Fernando was calling the Japanese Rail Association the other day (he's going to Tokyo) and the woman came on the line to tell him to hold. Then the music came on, and he waited. Then the woman came back on the line and said simply, "Hold on more."

2. "Those pants don't fit you very well. They look like a small Mexican family moved out of your butt." -- Rachel

3. "The woman who poured my soup had a large rear." (Clearly it wasn't me!)

Unrelatedly, if you recall, the first two nights of Passover this year were incredibly rainy. Lisa was out of town and asked me to visit her cats, and, of course, her basement, which has been known to flood when her two year old drools heavily. Luckily, the work they've done kept the basement safe and dry, but I was complaining about being soggy. Lisa pointed out that I had someone nearby to keep me warm and dry, and I pointed out that he was busy with an Orthodox Passover. Lisa then texted me to say that she was such a bad Jew that she had forgotten it was even Passover. Her following text said, "No, wait, I ate a macaroon today. That counts."

Also unrelatedly, I learned a great game recently. It's a cross between a magic 8 ball and a tea party. Basically, when you drink yogi tea, ask the box a question, and then pull out a tea bag and read the quotation on its string to get your answer. It's nice, because it never lies. It just says inscrutable things that you can't parse.

I saw a great t-shirt recently that said "I Can't Afford to NY."

I also met three wildly bizarre home-schooled children who, I fear, may never get laid. Ever.