hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go!

1. A co-worker is temporarily situated between two of our stranger birds, and recently reported this conversation to me:

(Oddity1 enters with a paper bag.)

(Oddity2, hearing the bag, runs across the hall.)

Oddity2: (almost violently) WHAT DID YOU GET?

Oddity1: Eggs.

Oddity2: WHAT???

Oddity1: Eggs. Eggs.

Oddity2 (again, disappointed) Oh. I thought you said peanut butter and jelly.

(She exits, sadly.)

2. My boss brings me gifts every now and then. Like this picture of her little friend, Moogie, and his little friend, Jacob.

(Adorable, right?)

3. Fernando recently went to the accounting department to look at the firm's Verizon bill, when the following conversation happened:

AccountingGirl: I don't know which bill you need.

Fernando: If you just give me the folder, I'll take a leak.

AccountingGirl: (blink) (blink)

Fernando: I mean, I'll take a leak.

AccountingGirl: (blink) (blink)

Fernando: I mean, just give me the bills, please.

4. I accidentally told a partner I was talking out my ass the other day. I'm not sure which was sadder -- the fact that I was talking out my ass, or that I felt compelled to announce it.

5. We introduced my boss to Ken Lee this morning. Have you met him?