book recommendation

This book recommendation is for the ladies, and, really, mostly for the dissatisfied single ladies among those ladies. But the review's for everyone, so even if you're not ladylike in the least or have no interest in Dating (or Not Dating, as the case may be), please, feel free to read on.

I finished a book recently that gave me a cleaner perspective on my dating life, and served as the straw that finally broke this camel's back. For a while now, many people/events/books/coaches/friends/neighbors/skywriters/things-in-general have indicated that perhaps I should take a break from dating. But I've been steadfastly refusing, thinking "it's just a numbers game" and "I just haven't met him yet" and, simply, "NOOOOOO!" And while it's true, I probably haven't met him yet, the book I'm about to recommend (hold your horses, it's coming) managed to cast Not Dating in such a positive light that I finally decided to give it a try.

Ok, first the book: All the Good Ones Aren't Taken, by Debbie Magids and Nancy Peske.

Second: what encouraged me to finally stop dating? The idea that, sure, it may be a numbers game, and I may have to keep searching and searching for the right guy, but it's been a really long time since I had clarity about what "right" meant to me (in terms of men), and I've focused so much on getting to know the men I'm meeting that I've neglected the continued process of getting to know myself. And without knowing who I am, what lights my fire and what's important to me, there's considerably less chance that I'll find a lasting relationship. (This also happens to coincide with a general rethinking of my career path, and a greater sense of who-the-hell-am-I-and-what-the-hell-do-I-really-like-anyway?)

Argue with me if you want. I see holes in this theory from start to finish. But really, if what I want is a long term, lasting relationship, and I'm willing to look at alternative methods of finding it, why not try it? At most it costs me two and a half months. And what's that they say about insanity? That it's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?

Hmmmmm…