this post is predominantly about my bathtub. (don’t say you weren’t warned.)

I'm a clean person.

And by that, I mean I do my dishes every day (or so), and I mop my kitchen floor just moments before it desperately needs it. I vacuum, I sweep, I even wash my windows (annually). So this also means that I clean the bathtub regularly. Or at least I thought I did.

Today, however, I dropped something in the bathroom and got down to pick it up when I discovered, to my horror, that my bathtub was not white, but a dingy grey. Armed with a sponge and some baking soda, I scrubbed a VISIBLE LAYER of ick off of my bathtub. I could have carved my name into it, like a showgirl's makeup or bad bakery frosting.

One tub wall done, I couldn't stand the contrast between it and the others, so I stayed put in my porcelain pieta, cradling the box of baking soda and working my arms so vehemently that I shook my, er, arm-wibble.

Did you know that really clean bathtubs are supposed to be slippery? This is a disturbing development.

Luckily, though, while still in the shower, I said outloud, to no one, "I just want to touch it!" Another one of those days it's a good thing I don't have a roommate.

(I have gone back, repeatedly, to touch it. I'm even considering a bath tonight, although I'm not dirty, just to hang out in a tub so spankin' clean.)