how not to look a gift horse in the mouth

I was walking to the color copier at work today, and one of the attorneys I don't work for (and have never worked for) stopped me in the hall. Being a trainer, I thought for sure he'd ask me something about the holiday cards or maybe a malfunctioning macro in Word, but no.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," I replied.

"Have you lost weight?"

(Cue that familiar record-scratching sound.)

"Um...yeah," I smiled outloud, "I have! Thanks!"

He said, "You look great. You must have lost a LOT of weight! You look so streamlined now!"

"Um..." I was slightly more perplexed by this. How should I respond? Ask him how fat he thought I used to be? Lie, and say that yes, I had lost a LOT of weight (when in fact it's been a few pounds give or take)? Give him the breakdown of just how I had lost the weight? I spun myself through a variety of options and settled on one that seemed to make the most sense at the time.

"Thank you?"

He didn't even notice my hesitation, however, being too wrapped up praising this new, skinny, hot chick to notice he had been somewhat less-than-generous in the Backhanded Compliment Giving Department.

I laughed in my own head and decided that it was probably pretty hard for him to dole out the compliments, what with the handicap of being one of the lawyers who work here. (We're a firm with more than our fair share of Lawyers Who Don't Play Well With Others.)

The whole brief incident reminded me of the time one of the 5'5" attorneys here spent the whole Holiday Party my first year flirting with me, and then, the next day, when he found out I was a secretary and not a lawyer, pretended he didn't even know my name.

This time, however, instead of bristling, I tucked the compliment in my pocket (where there is a LOT of space these days, seeing as how I'm so skinny) and eagerly turned my face away from the big white teeth on the loveliest of lovely gift horses and instead, grabbed it by the mane and swung myself up onto it.

After all, riding a gift horse beats the snot out of checking out its breath!