a merry assortment of uselessness

In absolutely no particular order:

1. It's very hard to limp on both legs. One, sure, you just balance on the other, and swing the gimpy one around. But both? "It's Quasimodo time, it's Quasimodo time..." (p.s. this link is wikkid scary)

B. I've been doing some very scientific research lately, and I've discovered that if you already have to pee when you start eating asparagus, that pee won't smell like asparagus pee. Unless, maybe, you wait too long. (I didn't get into timing specifics. That would actually be scientific, and might require .)

III I spent the night with a very distinguished older gentleman last night, and let me just say, I was so worried all night that I would accidentally kick him and break his leg that I barely slept. Follow the link to see a picture of him: gorgeous older guy
(isn't he beautiful? And who would believe he's almost 20? (or is he already 20? I didn't ask and he didn't tell...))

d) This is an actual law firm. Seriously. Are they kidding?

Fifth: I got an email (through myspace) from this guy:
He wrote: "wow you look really good to me"
I wrote: "you look like a boat."