fat and skinny

FAT
On the way to work the other day, I was on the subway with a fat man, and he was wearing Fat Man Pants. I knew they were Fat Man Pants because he was really rather round, and he had them jacked up over his belly, and only Fat Man Pants will accommodate that kind of behavior.

But what I want to know is this: why don't Fat Man Pants Manufacturers understand that the pockets of Fat Man Pants should not be lined in white? Nothing says Fat Man Pants louder than the gaping white linings of pockets stretched over rather round bellies.

Just sayin'.

SKINNY
I was recently at Rockaway beach, discussing the fact that this year I've actually developed tan lines. (Ok, they're really like Malevich's White on White, but that's neither here nor there.) My friend shared his beliefs on the topic, saying that tan lines "are like a highlighter for the fun parts."

Not a bad point.