who doesn't love steroids??

I am finally, FINALLY, after six whole weeks of dreck, starting to feel better. I've had a brick of snot the size of Tennessee shoved into my brain since about Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and yesterday I went to an otolarnygologist (say that three times fast) after two visits to (and two rounds of failed antibiotics from) my regular doctor.

I sat in the chair and she stuck a rubber hose up my nose, while chemicals flowed freely into my brain.

"Um, what was that?"

"A combination of Afrin and lidocaine."

"Oh. Ok."

(pause)

"Um, why'd you stick it up my nose?"

"So you won't feel it when I use the camera."

(GAH!)

Fifteen minutes later, she shoved a teeny-tiny camera up my nose and down my throat. Awesome.

(Luckily, five minutes after that, she gave me hardcore antibiotics, STEROIDS and a fancy schmancy nasal spray. Move over, saline!)

Today the fog is lifting and I can see the lights of the planes landing at LaGuardia. (They've been known to pass for stars in these parts.)

So now that I'm all hopped up on steroids, I'm thinking of taking up baseball. And changing my name to K-Rod!

(Actually, it's funny. I told the PT aide that I was on steroids and she asked what kind. I said, "I don't know, my cousin from the Dominican Republic came up and just shot them into my butt. I didn't ask what they were." She didn't get it.)

All of this leads me to what I meant to write tonight:

When you have a schnoz full of Afrin and lidocaine, the whole inside of your face gets numb, you get a little dizzy, and your top teeth feel like they're going to fall out. And, sadly, snot can be running down your face, and you won't know it until it reaches your lip.

Or so I've heard.