stimulating stultiloquence

(Stul*til"o*quence\, n. [L. stultiloquentia; stultus foolish + loquentia a talking, fr. loquens, p. pr. of loqui to talk.] Silly talk; babbling.)

1. If I had a mariachi band, I would call them the Magic Juans.

2. The other day, Fernando answered the help desk phone to discuss one of our programs, "Hot Dicks." After I picked my jaw up off the floor, and snorted audibly, he made a point of emphatically re-pronouncing "Hot Docs" four or five times in the remaining two minutes of the call.

3. My pantyhose were so tight today, I felt like a sausage about to bust out of its casings. I'll admit to having to cut the waistband just so I could breathe.

4. There is no ghost in the Chrylser Building bathroom, as I had previously thought. Turns out, we have some magical, automatic, aromatic air freshener that just squirts perfume into the air at random, ghost-whispering-like intervals.

5. If there is beforehand and afterwards, why is there no afterhand or beforewards?

6. A quote from the beginning of the book I'm reading, Working Identity:
Then indecision brings its own delays,
And days are lost lamenting o'er lost days.
Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute;
What you can do, or dream you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe