catch up and must herd

In no particular order (except that I numbered them):

1. I lied about the lobster in Long Island Sound. They died from a variety of problems, most notably a bacterial parasite, plus higher water temperatures AND hypoxia. (So I only sort of lied.)

In truth, I was only halfway through the podcast. To be fair to myself, I merely jumped the gun.

2. If offered the opportunity (as I unwittingly was last night) to have dinner with seven members of the opposite political party, one of whom took the words "Cuban machismo" out of the dictionary, smeared it all over himself, and didn't bother to put the page back in the dictionary, let alone recycle the paper, repeat after me:

"NOT ON YOUR FUCKING LIFE."

3. I made up a joke in my dream last night. It's a little dorky, but then again, so am I.

What do you call a dirt-eating social deviant?

A Picapath!

4. There is some debate over the etymology of the word "ghetto." As I learned today, it originated with the Italian Jews who were forced to all live together, separately, care of Pope Paul(?), but there's a division over which root of the word is the true root -- the Venetian "gheto," meaning "foundry" (the area of Venice in which they were forced to live) or the Hebrew word "get," which is a divorce or separation.

5. I don't have much patience in my life for people who play the victim. Life's too short not to take responsibility for yourself, don't you think?

6. Why won't my home phone work? Please don't say, "because you bought it on eBay." That will hurt my feelings.

7. The flight from Fort Lauderdale to La Guardia is a three and a half hour flight. Which, when seated next to a four year old CHATTY CATHY or ANNOUNCING ANNIE feels like twelve. However, when you have thunderstorms that force your plane to land at a military airport in Atlantic City, the three and a half hour flight becomes a seven hour flight. Which is like death on a stick.

8. Ok, so I also lied about the first five rows of a jet blue flight being made out of heaven. (See 7, above.) Then again, after that flight, I might officially qualify as a picapath.