vacation vacation vacation (like marsha marsha marsha)

From Vienna we traveled to Salzburg, via some accidental backroads navigated by yours truly. (The only fit I really pitched on vacation sounded something like this:

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Mom: What's wrong?

Me: I hate this fucking map! We are SO lost! I am NOT navigating anymore.

Mom: What do you want to do?

Me: Not Navigate.

Polly: Ok, ok, I'll navigate. Don't worry. It'll be ok.

Mom: Do you want an apple?

Me: No.

Mom: A piece of cheese we pilfered from breakfast?

Me: No!

Mom: A Fiber One bar?

Me: NO!! I JUST DON'T WANT TO NAVIGATE ANYMORE!

And I didn't have to solo-navigate again until we got to Padua (where I almost had to pitch another fit, but didn't).

Our route to Salzburg took us through Mathausen, a small Austrian village, which, if you are actually trying to find, is completely hidden. Why hide a village? Well, there's just one of those annoying old concentration camps in it, that the Austrians don't really want people just stumbling across. (Our trek there required yet another feat of excellent navigating.)

I'll be honest, the camp was less moving than I wanted it to be, although I had moments of utter despair, wondering how human beings can be so inhumane. Most of the exhibits were in German, so there was a lot of information that passed us by, but one of the things we could glean was that Mathausen, while it had its share of Jews, was predominantly used for political prisoners and other non-conformists. Walking the grounds and seeing the scads and scads of memorials was an interesting experience, but it felt rushed (we were late, thanks to my navigating) and would have probably been better with a tour guide.

From there we headed off to Salzburg, which, I'll be honest, was kind of a dud, too. It was super touristy and everything felt Disneyfied.

However, there were TONS of Mom & Mozart opportunities:

High atop a hill near Salzburg (which is the setting for the Sound of Music, for you crazy people out there who like stuff like that) is the Hohensalzburg fortress. It was your typical old castle, with some old furniture, guns, cannons, wells, the works. It also had a puppet museum, where I got some excellent shots:

Creepy Puppet:

And Puppet Butt:
In the room housing all the implements of torture, I found these awesome masks that, apparently, guilty parties would have to wear as they sat in the stocks. What you wore, of course, depended on what you were in trouble for.

Gluttony, we think:
And... lying?
In general, I wouldn't recommend Salzburg, unless you're dying to know how to solve a problem like Maria. We had crappy weather, too, which doesn't help, and there was a bit of an incident where I got my family off the bus about 20 mintues before we should have gotten off. They waited in a gift shop for my dad (who never got their message and didn't show up) and then took a cab home. I told them I was going to walk. Yeah... except, I didn't know the way home. So I walked for 40 minutes and realized I was not at all near my hotel (let alone my town) and decided to turn around and wait for the bus I had just gotten off. With the flash of a smile (and a card bearing the name of my hotel) I managed to pidgin german my way back to the hotel...

Lesson learned? In the future, just ask. Someone sprechen zie inglish.