noah smith & chuck closterman ask all the tough questions

My friend Noah Smith (on myspace here and on his own website here) is a fabulous writer, and one of the few ways I stay entertained and maintain my sanity here at work. His blog (baggy pants and bravado) is often full of childhood-related questions and explorations, stories about his wife, friends or family, and complaints against major motion pictures with superheroes in them. I can't always get every reference, but for those of us who were born in the mid-to-late 70s, Noah's blog is a compendium of familiar joys.

He also has an audience participation section every few days or so, in which he asks questions of his readership. Sometimes they have a theme, and sometimes they're strung together with spit and the sheer brainpower of Noah himself.

This week, however, he's posted some really fascinating questions written by Chuck Closterman, author of Sex, Drugs & Coco Puffs:

"The twenty-three questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can really love them"
They're neat questions. I've snatched a couple of samples (thanks, Noah!), but for the full effect, I would strongly recommend popping over to Noah's blog and offer up your own comments. (read the audience participation part at the top, too, and you'll see Noah's comments about our comments. Wikked meta!)

"At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR. Would you still do this?"

"For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves). This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?"