So I've had a love-hate relationship with my body over the last 29 years. Well, over the last 19. I don't think I really paid it much attention before 10 (when I started playing "Nude Models" with Amy Gabriel in the backyard). (yes, the back yard.) (well, at least it wasn't the font yard!)
Anyway, it's been mostly hate -- butt's too big, thigh's too jiggly, tummy's too flabby, blah blah blah. Whatever a woman's complained about, I have too. (except my feet. They're cute and little and I've always loved them, even though normal shoes never fit) But over the last few years, I've gotten myself into pretty good shape, and am actually really happy with where things are.
And wouldn't that just be when my body starts to fall apart?!
I'm too young and cute for the shit that's happening to me to be happening! First my shoulder falls apart (see "dorky new headset") and then my knee starts to get all weird, and apparently I have a Baker's cyst which makes my knee misbehave (i.e. HURT!) and make me super-gimpy. (you can see the definition here -- contrary to popular belief, it doesn't come from baking too much, but rather from a British surgeon, William Baker. Of course, the name just makes me think it's a cyst full of Tammy Faye's mascara-laden tears).
Then, to add insult to injury this weekend, I tried swimming again after a six month hiatus (for shoulder recovery) and my shoulder comes out fine, but I get a nasty calf cramp that actually makes me LIMP in the pool! Didn't think it could happen? Trust me, it ain't pretty. Especially not with grandpa in the next lane trying to outpace the hot young whippersnapper next to him (and swimming uncomfortably close to me, I may add...)
So now swimming, step aerobics, running, jumping rope, kickboxing, just about everything I do (even WALKING for crying out loud) has to be done with care.
What am I, 80?
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