what should I be when I grow up?

I've been keeping something from you. For the last howevermany months, I've been looking for a new job. I didn't mention it before because, well, a couple of my coworkers know about this site, and on the off chance that one of them should visit before I found a new one... Well, it seemed safer to keep this from you.

I'm sorry. Please understand. I wasn't trying to mislead you...

The good news is that I have finally gotten a job doing what I think will be exactly what I want to be doing. (We'll see if it actually turns out that way, but at the moment, I'm so psyched I can't see straight.)

Over the course of looking for a job, I entered my resume and credentials into a number of search engines, and was continually entertained by some of the results I'd get. Mostly they were technological training jobs or programmer positions, but occasionally there were a couple of gems. Like these:

Executive Chef

(What on earth made them think I could cook? I don't even have "enjoys baking" at the end of my resume.)

Cardiopulmonary RN

(I have a circulatory system, but something tells me that's not their only criterion.)

Regulatory Attorney -- Corporate Governance

(Ok, so I work at a law firm (for five more days) and I could see how they would think that I might be all legal and stuff, but really? You're promoting me without the JD?)

Assistant Buyer, Kids

(I'm not really up on the going rate for kids these days.)

Bodily Injury Claims Specialist

(I do bruise easily.)

And my two favorites:

U.S. Army Band/Musician and U.S. Army Sewing Machine Operator.

(Are there dorkier positions available in the armed forces? I think not.)

Also, one of the things I saw listed as a job requirement for a job I was actually considering struck me as odd. Should I have worried that "use of box cutters" was required?