I can barely make sense of this myself, so good luck!

I collect delightful experiences like some people collect bellybutton lint -- unintentionally, unexpectedly, and seemingly unendingly. But, unlike bellybutton lint, I don't have the metaphorical belly hair to force those experiences to stay with me, so I rely on postcards and my own chicken scratch.

Unfortunately, this occasionally leads to carrying around a list of things that makes no sense. Which, also unfortunately, leads me to sharing them with you without a hint of compunction.

Like this one. The note says simply, "Tastes like ass control."

Now, I remember it being funny at the time -- I mean, REALLY funny at the time -- but I no longer have any recollection why.

I mean, inherently, it's kind of a funny idea. What exactly is ass control, and what would it taste like? Can't be good. (I'm thinking it probably tastes like rotten spinach.)

So in an effort to track down the source of this mysterious phrase, I asked Fernando if he had said it, as I remember it being a guy who spoke it. My office mate denies any knowledge of it, and given that he's not big on swearing, I'm choosing to believe him on this.

Which leaves it as something a date must have said. I've run into these verbal doggie bags before, and they're tricky, because lord knows why I wrote it down. Could be: a) because I really liked him and found him funnier than perhaps I should have, b) because I really DIDN'T like him, and was trying not to look him in the face, or c) I was indifferent and wanted something to do, and this note was the dating equivalent of doodling.

Having dragged this poor phrase through the mud (and not being any the better off for it), I will now cross it off the list and consign it to the lint-and-booger pile of history.

(that exists, right?)