Sadly, the beau and I broke up recently. And one of the hardest parts of breaking up, for me, is figuring out what to do with all the little winks I've gotten from the universe since then that he would find apt or funny or cute. Things I want to tell him, but can't.
So I'm telling you instead. Because, well, they're apt and funny and cute and that's what you don't pay me for.
Thing 1:
A little over a week ago, the beau and I walked into an American Apparel store and I saw this adorable turquoise checked shirt (that would really only look good on a Super-Hipster -- or perhaps my extremely metrosexual boyfriend from five years ago), and pointed it out to him. He scowled (rightfully) and said, "only a Super-Hipster would wear that."
Now, secretly, if the shirt had been cut for a woman, I might have bought it for myself. Except that I look corpse-like in turquoise, and really don't need another blouse.
That foray into American Apparel sparked an argument (which I won't go into here) that essentially culminated in the unraveling of our relationship. The funny part is that this morning, on the subway, I sat next to a woman wearing the female version of that shirt.
Thing 2:
Eddie Izzard has been on my radar a lot lately. A friend emailed me today to say that a friend of hers had never seen Dress to Kill (arguably the funniest thing since sliced bread) and so my friend reported remedying that situation immediately. Then, my coach emailed me and prescribed a viewing of Dress to Kill so that I could get out of my head and into my belly(laughs). And THEN, my boss sent me a link (which neatly wraps this whole thing up in a bow) to an article about Eddie Izzard running 43 marathons in 52 days.
Did I mention the beau is a marathoner?
Yeah. Winking. I'm telling you. The whole universe is just winking at me. Like it's got galactic Tourette's or something.
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2 comments:
The Ricky Gervais stand-up special is also comedy gold for whenever you need to get into your belly. And speaking of belly, I don't think Mr. Gervais has ever considered running a marathon in his life.
PS--Your first mistake was ever going into an American Apparel to begin with.
PPS--My verification word is missilio.
Oh good, my husband precedes me in the comments page. Which is why I think it is funny that I was going to write you should TOTALLY go buy that American Apparel shirt and wear it. Who looks corpse-like in turqoise?
ps my verification word is pacovent.
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