what i couldn't say two years ago

I had dinner with an old friend tonight (our friendship is old... we, ourselves, are quite young, thankyouverymuch), which was a date we rescheduled from last week, which she cancelled because she wasn't feeling very well. As we sat at dinner I very offhandedly and calmly said the following, which I never would have been able to say to her two years ago:

So, last week was no big deal, it sucks that you were feeling barfy, and you can totally cancel on me anytime for anything, but next time, could you give me a little advanced warning if you aren't feeling well? You didn't know this, but I was in New Jersey at a party which I had to leave early to meet you for dinner, and I was already on the train back to the city when I got your message to cancel.

Her response? Totally calm, agreeing, nodding, and saying, "Oh yeah, that's cool. I'll totally give you advance warning next time. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Two years ago I was so afraid of myself (and of the threat of her rejecting me) that instead of saying something this simple, I would just sit on it. And stew. And brood. And every time she cancelled or was late or did anything that I could interpret as inconsiderate, I chose to see it as her being malicious or thoughtless instead of living her own life (with its own complications).

Now it's just so much cleaner. It feels fresh. It feels like we're miles closer, even though we see each other less. It feels like we're both covered in magnets and when we choose to live responsibly, the polarity brings us together instead of forcing us apart.

I'm immensely grateful, both for her and for the changes in my life. (And for the image of me being covered in magnets and accidentally getting myself stuck to my fridge.)